Countdown On

Everything has progressed normally...it's really quite boring. The amniotic fluid dropped as usual after treatment, but we started at such a high number (12) that the drop to 8 didn't really matter. It's been a couple of weeks and it's starting to climb now. All her ultrasounds looked pretty good, her Dopplers (blood flows) look great, and her NST's (non-stress test: checks for heart rate and movement) have all been perfect. Alas, she's still not growing, and they're worried (I'm worried too) about the potential return of my cancer as a result of postponing my Herceptin treatments a few weeks at a time. So, since she is doing so well on all fronts but size they've decided to evict her early. In one week in fact! I'll be induced Friday October 23rd at 36 weeks!

She'll probably spend awhile in the NICU getting special care and attention until she puts on weight and is breathing well and keeping her temp up. In the mean time, I'll be getting my first CT/PET and full MRI scans in months. Yikes! Soon I'll know if was all worth it or if the risk I took was just too great. I hope I will take one look at my baby girl and know I did the right thing. I hope that will give me strength on the day I get my test results back.

Last Treatment

I had my last infusion of Herceptin today. Well not really, I'll be back on the stuff at regular 3 weeks intervals for the rest of my life, but this was the last one with Anya inside. I hated it as I have every time. Knowing that she was getting some of it too and it would make the fluid go down. I'm not taking any chances this time. Resting, drinking and eating will be my only tasks for the next few weeks. And it will be just a few more weeks. 36 or 37 weeks would be the miracle goal, but really I could be induced next week if the fluid drops that quickly. More likely they'll put me back in the hospital as soon as the fluid drops and keep me there until it's time. I can't believe I'm about to be a mom. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.

I'm also exhausted. Haven't been this tired in a long time. Herceptin always makes me tired for a day but today I feel like my strength has been sapped. Iron counts or something. Or maybe it's just a pregnancy thing.

33 Weeks

Today's sonogram was excellent! Amniotic fluid jumped to 12. Apparently I'm the buzz around Parinatology this week. Heart rate was also great. Lots of activity. Normally she takes a nap when they hook us up to the monitor. She's also been getting a lot of hiccups which means she's practicing breathing. All in all, a good day.

Normal

The sonographer was so shocked by today's fluid level that she checked it 3 times. The level is up to 10! That's the low end of normal. Finally something in this pregnancy is normal. Woo hoo! Everyone in the room hi-fived like uber dorks, but it was a great moment that needed a little celebrating. Anya has grown as well. From the lowly 3rd percentile to the slightly better 7th percentile. With the way things have gone I don't expect this to last, but I'm gonna enjoy the weekend, take it easy, and try not to fret until the next sonogram on Tuesday.

Big Move Consequences

I was allowed to go home from hospital Sunday when the amniotic fluid finally hit 6. Wasted weekend because we really needed to pack up our house for our move to the "Big House" with my brother and his family. Docs told me to rest -again- although not necessarily Bed Rest. Went back for sonograms on Tuesday and the fluid was 7. Decided to post-pone Herceptin 2 weeks to get me into the 33-34 week range (36-37 is the max the docs will allow). By the sonogram that Friday fluid was up to a lofty 8.

However, I was still under the advice to rest, rest, rest, and drink a ton, but I couldn't just lay there and let my husband do all the work. So I helped when and where I could. I know I shouldn't have, but I did and now I'm dealing with the consequences. This Tuesday the sonogram showed a drop down to 5 instead of an increase like we expected. So this time I was chastised and given strict orders to remain resting on couch or bed.

Of course, I'm clearly not following orders by sitting at my desk to entertain myself on my computer. I will rest and drink more than I have been the last few days, and since I have now put away all my clothes and toiletries I can put off unpacking anything else. With luck the fluid will be up a little by the next sonogram on Friday. If it doesn't then I might go back to the hospital and I won't be able to see the production of Wicked that my friend bought me a ticket to see.

Hospital Again

I got admitted to the hospital on Wednesday because Anya's fluid was low again. Same plan as last time: fluids, rest, monitor baby. Only this time the fluid didn't come back up right away, so I'm not allowed to go home. Well technically I can go home but it would be against advisement. I certainly want to do everything within my power to get the fluid up and keep Anya safe. Unfortunately there isn't a lot I can do but wait and hope. We'll be taking it a few days at a time. The next sonogram will be Sun and if the fluid's up I'll go home. If it remains the same I'll stay longer. If it goes down...well I don't want to think about that until the time comes. Other than the fluid and small size, Anya seems perfectly happy in her cramped little world. Her heart, lungs, brain, placenta and cord all seem to be working well. A little relief on top of all the worry.

Uneventful

Everything was A-OK on the sonogram this week. Fluid was still at 9. Little odd since we expected it to drop some after treatment, but we're not complaining. Not ready to hope the rest of the pregnancy will be a breeze. Always have the feeling that something bad is right around the corner. Same way with cancer. Always fearing the next bit of bad news. It's a defense mechanism, but it takes a bit of the joy out of life. Still, if I didn't have my guard up, every time something went wrong I'd be a complete basket case.