Fight Mode

As I am anxiously waiting for the induction this Friday it occurs to me that I am more nervous about giving birth then I was for my mastectomy. It helps that I was unconscious for that event, but still, in the days leading up to it I wasn't as nervous as I am now. I think I was less apprehensive then because I was in fight mode. I had accepted what was to be as a necessary part of fighting cancer. Now I'm not in fight mode, and it's not just me that will be put to the test. So somehow, between today and Friday, I've got to get into a mindset that I'm going to handle childbirth as best I can for Anya's sake. She needs me to be strong, so I'll do my damnedest.